This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: January 22, 2021
January 15
Β
if screens bad why watching big screen while holding little screen feel so good
β Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) January 16, 2021
Everyone went from "essential workers are heroes" to "$15? Fuck that" real quick.
β DaryπΆ (@DaryRezvani) January 16, 2021
I'm thinking of changing the name of my Wifi to 'FBI surveillance' to mess w my Trumper neighbors
β Toni Marie (@ToniRenaissance) January 16, 2021
If you call anyone who works in fast food "just a burger flipper" or they just "pour coffee" you can't use those services anymore sorry but it's illegal for you to do it until you get a fucking grip
β werewolf sjw (@Akitron) January 16, 2021
Hillary was right about that basket.
β BrooklynDad_Defiant! (@mmpadellan) January 16, 2021
He was in most of his routines... https://t.co/iEimTxKdSq
β Kelly Carlin (@kelly_carlin) January 15, 2021
January 16
white women really did not want ass until a decade ago, that's so crazy lmao https://t.co/0KmH9A8yX9
β medusa (@tinykinseyscale) January 16, 2021
All the bizarre and horrifying things he did are going to come back to us at random moments like half-remembered scraps of dreams. pic.twitter.com/Kg2nBjzLfe
β A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) January 16, 2021
many ppl are saying this pic.twitter.com/GMZX13AijK
β short king(dom of ends) (@philosimper) January 16, 2021
Sorry, but this is the best how it started / how it's going ever. I love this so much. pic.twitter.com/eXHwPzsLla
β mythbri π³οΈβπππ²βοΈ (@mythbri) January 16, 2021
telling the song to "shut up" right before you skip it >>>>>
β Alfred (@fredtv_) January 16, 2021
Absolutely shit myself when he said this in the movie pic.twitter.com/jWUnyjcDfh
β laborgiant (@laborgiant) January 16, 2021
do you ever think about how there are houses in new england with like walls just full of razorblades bc some maniacs were like "this will be a normal solution to disposable razors" pic.twitter.com/hp2dl17z2x
β bea (@beackupburner) January 16, 2021
In a pandemic? https://t.co/TqYFXB2zf9
β don β¨ (hit tweet era) (@lilbarbx2) January 16, 2021
The guy with the bowl is my new favorite movie extra ever. pic.twitter.com/K9LZ20Fh6Y
β Matt Singer (@mattsinger) January 17, 2021
January 17
This is where the My Pillow guy could actually help America: pic.twitter.com/fXaEvXuvFR
β Randi Mayem Singer (@rmayemsinger) January 17, 2021
Two groups of penguins pass each other, stopping briefly to exchange information. pic.twitter.com/a7YWDYqdps
β Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) January 18, 2021
Folks, I think that the crushing sadness of half a million people dying from a virus that could have been prevented by better planning is kinda getting to me
β alex goldman (@AGoldmund) January 18, 2021
i loved growing up with the internet in the early 2000s! i played flash games, i took care of neopets, i saw a beheading video when i was 12, i made friends on myspace,
β an actual goblin (@gobloid3) January 17, 2021
Everyone who "flipped burgers" before getting a desk job knows exactly which one is harder.
β Jeremy Flood πΉ (@_Floodlight) January 17, 2021
people call "flipping burgers" unskilled labor but then give you this at a barbecue pic.twitter.com/JbM1Ms77dG
β Chris Dingus (@cdingus) January 17, 2021
i promised myself i'd stop falling in love... pic.twitter.com/81llxSiTXN
β snow belle (@dizzyfuckinbaby) January 17, 2021
this scene was gut wrenching pic.twitter.com/PlzGCA71TP
β harry is jesse pinkman (@harrycampb3ll) January 17, 2021
Animals interrupting wildlife photographers. A thread:
β Joaquim Campa (@JoaquimCampa) January 17, 2021
1. πΈ Dan Dinu pic.twitter.com/FYfohHAucq
January 18
This is how my life is going right now... pic.twitter.com/4H9a4XWGrd
β ππππππ πππππ ππ (@aalkermd) January 19, 2021
You stormed out of an NFL game because players peacefully took a knee. https://t.co/8SptgywFvr
β Public Citizen (@Public_Citizen) January 18, 2021
College group projects be like: pic.twitter.com/tbhqmrn8mZ
β Anne Xiety (@the_chaparrin) January 18, 2021
The sad irony is, if Jack Torrance had just written down what was happening to him, he would have written The Shining, a very successful book.
β Tom Neenan (@TNeenan) January 18, 2021
why they warming my vaccine in a spoon
β kill (@ethnyagami) January 18, 2021
Andrew Williams, a Florida firefighter who was seen on video at the Capitol riot saying,...
β Roshan Rinaldi (@Roshan_Rinaldi) January 19, 2021
"Hey, they can't arrest EVERYBODY!",...
... has been arrested. pic.twitter.com/LUcQSQHbG3
Just Happened. Military Band practices "Hit The Road Jack" right outside the WH! ππ© pic.twitter.com/ocDqgA2r9D
β Cathay Dawkins (@ArtistCathayD) January 19, 2021
Remember when they told us to give Trump a chance and now I can't see the sky bc LA has too much cremation smog https://t.co/MnEsT2Pqnl
β Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) January 18, 2021
January 19
isnt this that couple from modern family pic.twitter.com/cEhCLfzVpe
β myesha thee stallion (@myeshachou) January 19, 2021
happy birthday Dolly Parton!! I will honor her, like I do every year, by having huge boobs and being nice
β Laura Peek (@laurapeek_) January 19, 2021
So wait, what happens to all of us Emotional Support Canadians after tomorrow?
β Dinah (@dinahaddie) January 20, 2021
This man's whole life is in shambles because he got mad at Seth Meyers and Barack Obama roasting him. Could've just been grifting in peace for the rest of his life. Whole family hated. Ruined his teen son's life. Just incredible.
β Brandi, Minnesota-Based Lover πΎ (@ItsTheBrandi) January 20, 2021
wow she was in a lot of fights pic.twitter.com/aUmI2MhvMY
β Anthony McHats (@TheHatStore) January 19, 2021
He served his entire term, Amy https://t.co/XSnQVDq4oD
β El Norte Recuerda (@Vanessid) January 19, 2021
One time a 7-year-old at the summer camp where I worked asked me: "Are unicycles hard to ride?" And I said yes. And he replied, totally defeated: "Oh no! That means clowns are better than us!"
β Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) January 19, 2021
"Don't let go, you've got the music in you. One dance left, this world is gonna pull through. Don't give up, you've got a reason to live. Can't forget, we only get what we give." pic.twitter.com/irCtA67WPN
β Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) January 19, 2021
January 20
i haven't laughed this hard in a while pic.twitter.com/F9R4tTQt3e
β π» I LOVE JADYN ERA (@SUNFL0WR91) January 20, 2021
Remember when they straight up failed a whole coup because one Black cop yelled "Look over there!" Better luck next time losers.
β Solomon Georgio (@solomongeorgio) January 20, 2021
I'm glad we all agree that poetry was the best part of Inauguration, now please fund the humanities.
β Dr. Kara Morillo (@karamorillo) January 20, 2021
barron trump standing at the foot of the biden's bed tonight asking if they're his parents now pic.twitter.com/H6MiW4Hv3x
β juls π (@julleeg) January 20, 2021
Imagine having a Harvard Law degree and thinking that the Paris Climate Agreement is actually about Paris https://t.co/Uk0Nl2j7aF
β Julia Salazar (@JuliaCarmel__) January 21, 2021
They're asking for their money, Joe pic.twitter.com/bfDxzoDyK3
β Oh Really (@Ravh301) January 20, 2021
"This could've been an email" pic.twitter.com/kn68z6eDhY
β Ashley K. (@AshleyKSmalls) January 20, 2021
Some of my favorite Bernie Sanders sightings today: pic.twitter.com/Pxta5BO7Uu
β Seth Abramson (@SethAbramson) January 21, 2021
some album covers with cold Bernie pic.twitter.com/teg6TWBdXV
β Pigeons & Planes (@PigsAndPlans) January 20, 2021
Y'all fumbled Bernie Sanders TWICE?! And expect him to dress up to this gathering ? Y'all lucky he came ππ
β Dilys (@Dilysnana) January 20, 2021
Minor at heart. pic.twitter.com/lcK9omoCBq
β Nick Bataran β₯ (@NickOutTheJams) January 20, 2021
Four years ago, I started saving the best of the incredibly bizarre, stupid and bad vibes photos being rapidly produced by the Trump administration to cathartically post today. Here is my Surreal Trump Photo Dump pic.twitter.com/cne2J92pGB
β Chris Wade (@saywhatagain) January 20, 2021
Today is the only day you can tweet this pic.twitter.com/SrJFPxqjUW
β rainygay (@rainygay1) January 20, 2021
January 21
The Simpsons doesn't predict anything we just haven't fixed any of America's problems since 1989.
β Nathan (New Video!) (@Humanstein) January 21, 2021
So happy that USA has finally rejoined the Pittsburgh Agreement. Welcome back!
β Greta Thunberg (@GretaThunberg) January 21, 2021
Good morning pic.twitter.com/CCxVNrHjH3
β Paul Bettany (@Paul_Bettany) January 21, 2021
A lot going on here pic.twitter.com/1vIkxNXk9g
β Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) January 22, 2021
It's kinda weird that deplatforming Trump just like completely worked with no visible downside whatsoever.
β Matthew Yglesias (@mattyglesias) January 21, 2021
idk what the girlies are going thru this week but bernie sanders is a 79-year-old man and it was probably 38 degrees when that photo was taken pic.twitter.com/PMKV1h1ntP
β helen (@helen) January 21, 2021
lol pic.twitter.com/3HcuUokMfg
β Tim Nielsen (@TimNielsenDay) January 21, 2021
Sen. @BernieSanders on his Inauguration Day meme fame: "It makes people aware that we make good mittens in Vermont."
β Garrett Haake (@GarrettHaake) January 21, 2021
.@TheSimpsons One of my favorite Simpsons signs. pic.twitter.com/LniEqrs1Dq
β Al Jean (@AlJean) January 21, 2021
having been told that it's rude to call dinner "gross," our 4yo is finding increasingly creative ways to express himself
β Alix E. Harrow (@AlixEHarrow) January 21, 2021
"this tastes.......unlucky to me"
"this sends my mouth into outer space. (that's bad)"
"cauliflower is"--[pinches fingers together]--"this much delicious"
i think we all know who was behind this pic.twitter.com/zYYgU4POBo
β Elise (@indiegurlthot) January 22, 2021
When I describe East Coast vs West Coast culture to my friends I often say "The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind," and East Coasters immediately get it. West Coasters get mad. πππ
β Jordan Green (@jordonaut) January 21, 2021