This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: September 10, 2020
September 4
— Cursed Conspiraboomer Images (@conspiraboomers) September 4, 2020
If I can smell yo breath thru yo mask u need to go to the hospital
— DevontaFrmDblock (@vontafrmdblock) September 4, 2020
the funniest gender stereotype is "boys like trains" like what the fuck does that even mean
— ً (@WARVHS) September 4, 2020
Not even five hours apart pic.twitter.com/9JrUSA1TDH
— Zach (@Zach__Frank) September 5, 2020
I wanna hear from Her pic.twitter.com/Sqss98Qm9x
— Connor 🔍👀 (@McConnortock) September 5, 2020
Man, Biden's response on Qanon! "I'm a supporter of mental health and I urge them to take advantage of the things in the Affordable Care Act while it's still there."
— Robert A George (@RobGeorge) September 4, 2020
the best part about this is Russ is screaming those obscenities directly at the players' families and children in a dead quiet gym. no-one is safe. pic.twitter.com/SK3uFoZIJn
— Rob Perez (@WorldWideWob) September 5, 2020
September 5
Not my sister stripping while the house on fire......I can't breathe pic.twitter.com/51JnHMHdeV
— amy thalang stan account (@jiggyblackgurl) September 5, 2020
the problem w/ the Kentucky Derby is that they're literally all horses. very boring. put one of each animal out there & let's learn a thing or two
— Dan Perlman (@danjperlman) September 5, 2020
PIGMENT OF HER IMAGINATION https://t.co/JEigDgPuRB
— ✨Juniper Jones✨ (@motherjuniper) September 5, 2020
my grandpa is unhinged pic.twitter.com/8RwoJAbJrR
— oreagano (@raygunpew) September 5, 2020
— 📸 (@THINGEO) September 5, 2020
"if I could play devils advocate for a second" dude just let me talk to the devil himself u are so annoying
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) September 5, 2020
Let's go SkyDiving he said. It will be fun he said pic.twitter.com/w1P5N1p8tb
— Unhip.OldGuy (@UOldguy) September 5, 2020
guys just a heads up that it's the final days of the ford summer sales event
— taylor garron (@taylorgarron) September 5, 2020
sometimes i think i died and woke up in an snl skit https://t.co/YHcOQfLtD2
— lens (@notbalin) September 5, 2020
September 6
when you sleep on an air mattress you're sleeping on the sighs of your younger self
— Matt O'Brien (@matt_obrien) September 6, 2020
It feels so weird that we can't just, like, take a year off from things pic.twitter.com/dGBtrAMQQC
— Sandwich Judge🥪👩⚖️ (@SandwichJudge) September 6, 2020
I'll say this again, the ocean is a terrifying place. https://t.co/sPVYaNg5jm
— Sgt. Wolf Medellín (@LegAcey22) September 6, 2020
losing it at this pic.twitter.com/U298pO1HQs
— abraham bloodshack 🏗 (@pleasedontatme) September 7, 2020
Bodega sign on Ave C. pic.twitter.com/0q8htOdjRM
— EdenBrower (@edenbrower) September 7, 2020
Edward Scissorhands (1990) pic.twitter.com/vKdRRoGfBr
— Saddington 2 ✈️🥺 (@2Saddington) September 7, 2020
September 7
me: I bought a gun because of my bird phobia
— Adam Cerious (@Browtweaten) September 7, 2020
therapist: you might be getting carried away
me: *firing into the ceiling* not without a fight
— Devin Nunes' cow 🐮 (@DevinCow) September 8, 2020
My sister got a net to keep the dog in the back seat but she does not accept pic.twitter.com/LKFlOqBSBL
— scythe holder (@metal_crab) September 7, 2020
If unions didn't work, employers wouldn't be afraid of them. pic.twitter.com/H3MSvmGAcl
— Bragrman (@bragrman) September 8, 2020
for sale
— schrödinger's sex doll (@bbandakiller) September 8, 2020
bachelor's degree
never used
— Bris Angel (@Cryptoterra) September 7, 2020
congrats!!! pic.twitter.com/Fc9Kl1aCvc
— sreekar (@sreekyshooter) September 7, 2020
September 8
Only You Can Prevent Gender
— zach s-w (@nerdosyndical) September 8, 2020
This morning my wife asked me whether I had any dark stuff, and I admitted that between the pandemic and the Trump administration I've been feeling a paralyzing mix of anxiety and depression.
— (((Josh Malina))) (@JoshMalina) September 8, 2020
Then she said "No, I'm putting a load of laundry in."
Men will soak a pan for 18 hours.
— Katie Hannigan (@katiehannigan) September 9, 2020
should i live in new york where people think i'm stupid or LA where people think i'm ugly
— trash jones (@jzux) September 9, 2020
Turns out people who took videos at concerts on their phones were RIGHT this whole time.
— Brandie Posey (@Brandazzle) September 8, 2020
Imagine if you saw a dude fighting a larger unrelenting robot version of himself and then he just suplexes it off a cliff https://t.co/6ghTXZ0T8T
— Suri 🐢 𓆉 (@Suribot) September 8, 2020
September 9
Trump: I didn't want to cause a panic.
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) September 9, 2020
Also Trump: CARAVAN! ANTIFA! CITIES ARE WAR ZONES! THEY WANT TO TAKE YOUR GUNS! NO MORE CHRISTMAS! ILLEGALS ARE VOTING IN THE MILLIONS! CHINA! DEEP STATE!
We have the most Covid cases and deaths in the world for one reason: TRUMP LIED!
It's fucked up we didn't know about climate change from 2008 - 2016 https://t.co/g6Brb4sSDh
— jake (@tony_magoni) September 10, 2020
Imagine showing this tweet to yourself a year ago and explaining "oh no, the masks aren't because the sky is orange, that's for a different thing." https://t.co/nnqoOBk3uM
— Meredith Haggerty (@manymanywords) September 9, 2020
Just looked outside my window here in California wtf pic.twitter.com/VAdsdbjbyr
— D'laney (@brennanmdg) September 9, 2020
TikTok and that cups song from Pitch Perfect narrowly avoiding each other like asteroids
— Marc (@MarcSnetiker) September 10, 2020
"Are we still on?" - An attempt to cancel
— Gladys Knife (@jewelnotjule) September 10, 2020
It's so unfair that they keep coming after Trump, armed with *tape recorders* and then have the nerve to play back his own words for all of us to hear. That's messed up. Protect him, Jim! https://t.co/pMp6tFAt6a
— Rep. Eric Swalwell (@RepSwalwell) September 10, 2020
This guy is really relatable. I also watch the sports match on a 7-inch TV from 500 yards away while wearing a full suit in the comfort of my own home https://t.co/Lsw8JfPcF5
— Cadence Weapon (@cadenceweapon) September 10, 2020